There are days when I wish "Transformers" would have never happened. I was somewhat at peace in my life and was a proud member of the armed forces. I had no clue what I was missing out on. I had given up any dreams of being an actor. I decided that it was too far fetched...too unrealistic, especially if I planned on getting married and starting a family.
Then that day came. I think I would have been fine just working behind the scenes, greasing the wheels and making new friends in the film industry. I could have gone about the rest of my life and it would have been simply an interesting story, like having written seven articles for InQuest gamer back in the day. It would have been a milestone, but not life-changing.
It didn't stop there though. I was drawn into being in front of the camera. The large part of me, the dreamer(which I've always been), the driven, obsessive compulsive, entertainer is so grateful for the experience. It also can't let go of it. It's like a drug addiction that can't be set down and when I go to long without a fix I start to lose my way.
This may sound overly dramatic to some of you, but what the hell, I'm an actor...right? It's all true though. I stay awake at night contemplating "doing something else". I concoct crazy ideas for jobs that would take its place. I think about quitting...just hanging it up and never looking back, but I just can't. How could you?
I have a feeling that good things will be happening soon. Some break is just over the horizon. I am hopeful. I believe in my talent. I believe in my persistence. I need to hit the gym a bit more. I need to do a few things differently, but I'm headed in the right direction and I enjoy taking you with me.
There's a karma in this blog of sharing my experiences and collecting tips for other actors. Heck, some of you might take this info and beat me out of a role one day (if you haven't already). I'm okay with that. There's plenty of parts out there. I'm just glad that maybe I'm helping someone get to where I am at least. I've done some very cool stuff. I love what I do...too much maybe.
Well, there it is, I bled a bit. It's therapeutic. This is probably the most real thing I've written and I'm putting it out there for the people who are reading this. If you're paying attention, I really truly thank you. Keep with me. This is going to get interesting.
When I was a young lad while the other kids wanted to be firemen or astronauts or land tax surveyors I had always wanted to be a special effects makeup artist. Well that life never panned out and I discovered I don't have the artistic talent to bring ideas down from my head and into my hands. When a dream dies the rest of your world loses some of its color.
ReplyDeleteI always wonder why acting is such a passion to pretend a life apposed to a real life....... I would aspire to spend everyday on a set on any given day ..makes you wonder about the sanity of Actors .... : )
ReplyDeleteI would like to write a Book titled :
In The Company Of Actors
BTW Keep Going / Jump those Hurdles / Climb those Mountains / Nothing was ever achieved sitting and wondering should I be doing this ... The answer is simple do what you love
ReplyDeleteJUST DO IT ! : )
ZomBee, I used to want to be a comic book artist when I was a kid. I drew all the time. I even dabbled with it through college, but eventually recognized that I wasn't good enough. Luckily I found a fill for the void. ;)
ReplyDeleteRoni, I don't know that all actors torture themselves with it like I do. I don't think you have to dislike real life, but imagine getting paid to pretend. What could be cooler?! I used to do it in my backyard as a kid for hours for free!