Friday, February 24, 2012

Kickstarter Campaign for GI JOE Initiate (Fan Film) Kicks Butt

Wow, we have received some great reception for the kickstarter promotion for our GI Joe fan-film "Initiate". We are so excited about this project! 71% funded with 16 days left to hit our goal! At this rate, we will be able to make a wonderful film.

Had a friend on facebook ask us if there was a way to donate through paypal, so we've developed a widget:

While this isn't through kickstarter, I will make sure that we honor the same rewards here as for our kickstarter project. ALL of the funds acquired through this button will be spent on resources for the film. To re-iterate our previous statements, we are in no way connected to Paramount, Hasbro or any other company with rights to the Joe property other than we are huge fans. It is not our goal to make any money on this project...only to give fans of GI Joe a great series to watch for FREE on the web. If, by some miracle we come up with more money than we can dump into the production (we can always add more), any proceeds will be donated to a military charity like wounded warrior. We totally respect those OFFICIALLY responsible for JOE and highly encourage you to check out John Chu's "GI JOE: Retaliation" this summer! Chu has really reached out to the fan base and from what I've seen of the trailers, his take on the franchise is going to be AMAZING! We're all stoked here.

So, what's new with the film? Well, we're in discussion with a very amazing knife-maker who may be helping us with a few hero blades for the film. Yes, there will be a very cool knife fight between some familiar characters. Also, we're closing a deal with the folks at Pit Viper Studios to help us make our villains look wicked and in decent quantity. Their stuff is amazing and you can check them out at PIT VIPER STUDIOS on the web. If you're looking for cool helmets for your film project or costume, these guys are the bomb!

We've also added another character to the reveal roster with Chuckles, played by Bryan Massey! Check out his resume on IMDB, HERE! He's one talented cat who stays busy making movie magic.

We're also waiting for a very cool package from the folks at Delia Tactical! They have sent us some very cool stuff we'll be using in the film. Go to their site and check out THE RAPTOR for a taste of things to come!

We also have an OFFICIAL SITE NOW! Click HERE for details!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Top 10 Sci Fi Guns from the Movies!

I love movies. I especially love sci-fi movies. And of those, sci-fi films with incredibly badass guns rank among my favorites. I must warn you, this is my personal list from my years of sci-fi worship. Yours may differ incredibly, BUT I think we can find common ground here regardless of your personal tastes. In no particular order, here we go! Ready:

#10.) The M41-A pulse rifle from "Aliens".

#9.) The Auto 9 gun from "Robocop"

#8.) M134 Minigun from “Predator”

#9.) The PL-44 Blaster from "Star Wars"

#8.) The Samaritan Revolver from "Hellboy"

#7.) Moses Brothers Self-Defense Engine Frontier Model B from "Serenity"

#6.)Prawn DNA Rifle from "District 9"

#5.) The Noisy Cricket from "Men in Black"

#4.) The Morita Rifle from "Starship Troopers"

#3.) The AKS-74U from "The Fifth Element"

#2.) The Phaser from "Star Trek"

#1.) The LAPD 2019 blaster from "Blade Runner"

National Lampoon Talks About Humans Vs. Zombies

Garrett Hargrove of National Lampoon talks about the power of reviewers and their official endorsement of film. He makes a lot of great points and I seriously do want Uwe Boll's phone number!

Here is a link to the article: If your computer hates you as much as mine hates me, then here is a transcription of all the badassery that ensued:

There are common people. There are the 99%. There are legions who are being marketed to. Being targeted by advertising. But they know you don’t trust “them.” The advertisers. That’s because their profession is built upon trying to convince you through any means to buy their product. Their inherent nature is to falsely try to convince you that their product which costs X to make is worth you paying X plus an additional amount. They don’t care about what you like. They try to tell you what TO like.

The advertisers know you don’t trust them. So they sign on spokespeople you would trust. An authority on the matter. Sure naming your own price for a flight sounds sketchy. But if Captain Kirk tells you its a solid deal, you have to believe it. He would never lead you astray. You may think a Fiat is too small for you. But when J-Lo comes on screen selling it, you know that if her Stay-Puft marshmallow man she calls an ass can fit in it, yours can, too. She would never let her fans buy something she wouldn’t use herself, right? It’s not like she has complete contempt for the little people.

So why is this all relevant? See the below:

“Fantastic Movie!!! – Garrett Hargrove, National Lampoon”

Bigger than the name of the director on the cover.

Bigger than any of the stars.

Bigger than the Zombie logo at the bottom.

Almost as big as the bloody machete.

It’s a testimonial from me. A film I had nothing to do with has decided that my recommendation was worthy of the cover. I’ve tried to keep it all in perspective. Tried to not let it over inflate my ego. But I could come to no other conclusion other than:

Humans Versus Zombies is a fun film. It is a real movie as you can see here on Amazon and not just some photoshop I made: Amazon Link. Its got fun zombie action. Its got nudity. Its got that cute, curly haired girl from the last season of “Friday Night Lights”. It doesn’t take itself too seriously. What more could one ask for from a zombie film? But that’s not always enough. In this world where HD cameras are cheaper than your average Kardashian, there are lots of zombie movies that CLAIM to be worth your time. The posters may look flashy. Advertisers will try their darndest to lure you in and convince you to try their zombie movie over HvZ. Brian T. Jaynes was at a loss for how to stand out amongst the slew of other Zombie films when all he has is a split second to catch your eye when you see it on the shelves.

Then, sometimes fate smiles upon you. Humans Versus Zombies happened to be showing at the Houston based Splatterfest. Right after my film, Cherry Bomb. Following my film, I stuck around to see HvZ. I enjoyed it. After the screening, I met up with Brian, the director. People were approaching him telling him how much they enjoyed the movie. “Pfft. Your opinion matters not, for you are but a common man.”

I then approached him and told him about my appreciation for the film. His eyes lit up. “But… you’re… YOU! You’re not like these other people. You write for the Lampoon. Your opinion means something.”

I bowed my head. “I know.”

“Would you be willing to spread these words of praise onto the interconnected series of computers known as the internet so others might hear of your authoritative praise?” Jaynes pleaded.

I agreed.

I posted a review on imdb for the film. We parted ways. Then it came time for Jaynes to distribute his film. And he came to me once more. “The distribution company has asked for permission from the great National Lampoon wordsmith to use his quote as an endorsement of the film.” Jaynes came humbly bearing gifts with his request.

I granted it.

And now, when Humans Versus Zombies enters stores in May, shoppers will see it. And know it is worthy of their money. And not because of advertisers or flashy marketing or even the nudity.

But because the Authority has assured them of its quality.

None shall question this approval. Critics opinions are airtight and not subject for contention. Critics are infallible. Should you disagree with the verdict or opinion of The Authority, realize it is purely because you cannot possibly analyze and comprehend on the same levels as The Authority.

I asked star Frederic Doss (of GI Joe: Rise of Cobra and Transformers) how it felt to have the Authority recommend his film. He was elated:

“National Lampoon said “Humans Vs. Zombies” is FANTASTIC?!?! You hear that Michael Bay? Fantastic! Now who has Uwe Boll’s phone number? I’m about to be huge!”

“As an actor you have to trust your director. I told Brian I trusted his vision, but it wasn’t until National Lampoon validated it that I really believed it.” said Chip Joslin, who played Brad in the film.

Star Jesse Ferraro said: “To have national lampoons give a shout out in any way, shape, or form to HVZ…well who cares what happens from here on out.”

Madison Burge said “No, I will NOT give you Adrianne Palicki’s number! I am blocking this facebook account!”

Seeing the difference this has made to Jaynes (HvZ is set, even in pre-sale, to become the highest grossing film ever starring Madison Burge and Chip Joslin), I decided to use my divine ability to bless or condemn products on a larger scale. Since reviewing Michael Biehn‘s The Victim, Biehn’s production company has signed a three picture deal with Aspect Films. Its been on an every once in a while basis up until this point, but now… The Authority is going to accept films, DVDs or beef based products for a regular review column on this site, the authority on comedy, National Lampoon.

So, feel free to contact me through here for films or products to review. The Authority will always strive to create the best Gene Shalit-esque quotes for your film or food product poster. And when people doubt the quality of your product, you can point to The Authority’s review and cut the legs from under your detractors.

And in NO WAY should this be construed as simply an act to attain free stuff.

Monday, February 13, 2012


Yep, you heard right. Starting FEBRUARY 17, you can see "Humans Vs. Zombies" on Chiller TV! WOOHOO!

Also, you can preorder the DVD for it's May release here on both bluray and regular formats:

G.I. JOE: Initiate (a fanfilm)

Some of you may have noticed my absence from the blog world for a bit. Well, I can assure you, I've been building up a new stockpile of films to share with you that totally rock. But, what has been distracting me is also highly cool.

Since watching films like "Troops" and "Batman: Dead End" I have always wanted to do a fanfilm. The trouble was what to do the film about. Well after watching Mark Cheng pave the way with his badass fanfilm "Operation Red Retrieval" that "G.I. Joe" was a viable option.

As many of you know, I was in the first film "GI Joe: Rise of Cobra". I play an apache gunner and as awesome as it was, it's a brief role in the film and while I do get done in by Cobra, my character isn't an official member of the Joe team. In short, I wanted to be a bigger part of the Joe universe and while I was so happy to do what I did (it was awesome), I still had this itch to do more. Then, I got to submit reads for three different roles on Jon Chu's "GI Joe: Retaliation" which looks AMAZING, but wasn't in the cards.

Then, one day a couple weeks ago, while kicking around the desire to do some short films and rethinking fanfilms like "Modern Warfare: Frozen Crossing" (one of the best out there), it hit me. I have a lot of military hardware and access to a lot of fellow veterans with even more hardware and more credentials than I have...and we all love JOE!

So, I posted a thread on facebook and was shocked at the response. Director Brian Jaynes of "Humans vs. Zombies" jumped on board to direct for us. Also, my buddy, writer/graphic designer, Anthony Schiavino ("Sergeant Zero") was more than happy to co-write a script with me. We quick turned what has been praised by some folks I can't mention.

Since then, we've added people like veteran producer Kerri Navarro, and acting talent such as Billy Blair, Bryan Massey, Brandon Slagle and Samuel Haun. Real life badasses Michael Brown, Rusty Brooks, Aaron Self and Michael Marcano round out the cast.

Here are some key things that we believe set us apart from the other fan films out there. Most of our cast has real world training with weapons and tactics. We have some top notch crew onboard with more than a few notches in their belts and they have some amazing equipment that will give us solid production value. We have access to cool stuff like tanks and APCs. We have credentialed actors. We are also intent on blending the lighthearted atmosphere of the original series with a more tactically grounded harshness of actual combat.

We've also received some awesome support from one of the premier Joe fansites THE TERROR DROME. Those guys rock!

What you can do to help, is go to the link below to the kickstarter project and donate to our cause, even if it's only a few dollars. We truly appreciate the support and we can't do it without you!CHECK OUT OUR KICKSTARTER HERE!